My Thoughts On Writing

So often I fear uploading something because I feel it’s ‘not good enough’. I don’t think that fear will ever disappear but it’s useful to remind ourselves that our writing is constantly changing.

Last week I compared my writing from when I was younger to childhood photos of me: they exist because they were a part of me but years later they cause me to cringe and try to hide them in a cupboard. It may not be the best comparison but I do find myself looking back at my writing even three weeks ago and asking myself why I wrote the way I did.

Our writing changes due to the fact that we change. Before now I’ve written things and left them in my blog drafts and looked back at them months after and thought ‘how did I write like this’. I feel each day we all experience new and different things that influence who we are. Therefore the way we feel about and how we word things changes.

In addition there’s a quote I apply to many parts of my life and it is ‘don't compare your chapter 1 to someone's chapter 20’. In a way that applies to writing. I inevitably find myself yearning to write the way others do, their writing to me illustrates maturity and wisdom. Not until today, this second as I type this, I realise that I’m on my own writing trail and their on theirs. I’ve only reached the first gate, they’ve passed many.

To me, writing is so similar to who someone is. It’s a form of us expressing ourselves. I admire these people, whose writing I’m lucky enough to read, as I enjoy their writing as its individual to them and displays what they’ve been through. My writing would be boring if it was like theirs. The thing I appreciate the most is that their writing is individual and original.

Writing is like art work. Some you personally like and some you don’t. Many artists in the world dismiss favouring their own work. We are all our own biggest critics.

If you are ever in the situation where you are scared to put your writing out into the world  as you worry it’s ‘not good enough’, do it. Then you can start writing the next thing, whatever that may be, and you’ll soon identify that your growing and so is your writing. And I will try and do the same.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect would find its way onto this page. I’m going to leave it as it is and upload it. I hope at least one person can understand what I’m trying to say. Hope you have a good week. 

A Creative Piece

Tommy breaks the silence. ‘Do you think we will come back? I mean does anyone want to?’ he questions. Chase playfully shoves him. ‘Don’t be stupid. Of course we will’ he laughs. In the rear view mirror a last glance of what was fades. Laughs and smiles had danced along the sand. An ice cream scoop had fallen to the ground from a child’s cone but the ice cream man had been kind enough to provide him with another. My shoes had swung in my hands as I ran between sandcastles.

Now we are submerged into the back of a worn truck. A drop of sweat clings to Tommy’s neck. Even though the windows are open we are imprisoned in a sea of hot air everywhere. ‘Is no one afraid… of what's to come?’ Ebony quietly mutters as she tugs her hair behind her ears.

‘What? Why are you talking about that now?’ Chase answers whilst quickly turning his head back to look at her. Her head bows when these words hit her as she’s weighed down by them. ‘Chase seriously’ I scowl at him. ‘It’s okay Ebony, it’s inevitable.’

‘I guess’ she answers as she pulls another strand of her hair behind her ear. We all face the back of the car ahead. She’s opened a door to a room that I’ve kept closed all summer in my head. I say it’s okay but is it? I appear to only speak the words that I wish I could believe. I yearn the stability of knowing what I want to do but its presence never lingers long enough for me to make a decision. For the last three years I’ve been living, making decisions only when the deadline has awoken. All I know now is I want to be happy.

I've been really hesitant as whether to upload this or anything else creative but I’ve done it because I know that my writing will change over the next few weeks, months and years. I forget that so often and it prevents me from uploading things. If you ever fear uploading something because you think it’s not good enough, just do it. With writing I feel you grow and change. So when you’re writing is different than it was a few months ago, it’s due to the fact that you’ve changed. We are constantly changing, as we do so does our writing. Our writing is a part of us. In a way I find my writing from months or weeks ago like those childhood photos of me: they make me cringe and I try to hide them as I’ve changed so much but them being there actually results in me appreciating the fact more that I’ve had the opportunity to change and develop more. I’m going to stop rambling on and I hope you can understand what I mean above. Anyway hopefully in a week to come I will have a full post explaining what I mean and it will be understandable.

If you’ve read this far thank you and I hope you have a good week. I will be in the rain collecting information for my geography GCSE controlled assessment on a beach in wales.

Notebooks

This may be something odd to write a whole post about but I thought why not try something completely different.

Basically I have a problem with using notebooks. It’s not that I don’t like the notebook. I just feel whatever I do in that notebook I will be ruining or damaging it. However saying this and being aware of this, it doesn’t stop me from buying more notebooks. In fact only a couple of weeks ago I bought another one and as I write this I know it’s going to be a struggle for me to actually use it even though I love it. So as you can guess I have quite a big collection of unused notebooks.

Last year around this time I finally began to use two notebooks that I was given four or five years ago. This may sound pretty odd but I think the prettier the notebook, the harder I find it to use it. Does anyone else experience this?

A Day At The Start Of Summer

Summer is about to be over. On Monday I’m back to carrying textbooks and sitting through lessons. If summer went on for ages we wouldn’t identify how valuable the summer holidays are. I’m always going to wish for more holiday but I think that’s a better situation than wishing I had less and becoming bored with my time. The holiday is so valuable and appreciated as a result of it being relatively short and rare.

Anyway as it is the end of the summer holidays I thought today would be a good time to look back at a day from the beginning of the holiday.

I’ve lived in the same town my whole life. And it’s not the biggest of towns. So I’ve pretty much visited everything there is to see in my town. However a few months back I noticed a road that I had never gone down and my interest was triggered. My good friend and I visited the place where the road led to one day and discovered a lovely bench with a view that was for once not just trees and brambles. I hope you like the photos above and good luck to everyone going back to school.  Also notebook update, I found it!