Procrastination

 

A best friend and an enemy

It makes me happy in the moment but it leaves waving effects;

It doesn’t know when to stop.

It consumes me until the trance is broken: I push it away but it comes crawling back.

During the moment it shines bright but then it ruins me.

It somehow casts a shadow over me: Only someone or something big can save me.

As it engulfs me I lose sight of reality. It’s just me and it.

I think it’s time it stopped.

I wrote this in my notes on my phone during the exam period and even though it's quite messy and odd I thought it would be appropriate to post it the day before I receive my GCSE results. I felt the need to write about procrastination but wasn't sure how so I just kept on writing, trying to describe what it does to me.

So good luck to anyone receiving GCSE results tomorrow.

Losing My Imagination

There have been occasions when I’ve recognised I no longer share the same imagination I possessed when I was younger or even a year ago. I fear I could lose all my imagination forever, meaning all the creativity I own will evaporate. The prospect of this scares me as I feel I need creativity to write. And without an imagination life would be boring to me.

I don’t know what has caused me to write about this but it’s a fear of mine. Perhaps my lack of reading recently has punctured a hole in my imagination.

Sometimes it seems presenting creativity is easier done through the media of drawing rather than through words. But maybe it depends on what mood one is in. If you have any thoughts on this please let me know, I’m interested to know what you think.

So I shall stop there and wish you a good weekend.

A Summer Day

 

 

 

A day in mid-July brought me tranquillity as a close friend of mine and I meandered around under towering trees that were coated various shades of green and had a light picnic in the sunny weather England has given us recently.

I hope you enjoy the photos from our trip and have had a good week.

Career Thoughts

For the last few years I knew what career I wanted to achieve and I’ve always understood that could change. However it embarrassingly scared me when that happened at first. Looking back now I can’t fathom why it did but I presume it’s partly due to us individuals being comfortable with what we are used to: I’ve been used to having that career in my sights for so long, I’ve gradually become comfortable and at ease with the prospects of it and the possible challenges I would have to face to reach it.

However I now recognise this has opened me up to considering other careers which before now I had always brushed under the carpet. I feel enlightened by the freedom from barriers that I built myself unknowingly. I want to do more. More than what I believe I can achieve.

I often foolishly forget that there are more careers out there than I know of and I don’t have to be stapled down to one career for the rest of my life. I’m gradually becoming more familiar with the idea that I don’t need to have a plan and I’m recognising how this could provide me with more happiness.

So I currently have no plan for the future surrounding the world of work and it feels good. I hope you had a good weekend!

Two Years

 

I intended to use this space on the internet for me to write about anything and explore the way I could write. But it’s also led to me enhancing my love for photography and has provided me with somewhere I can present my photos to the world even if no one is watching.  

Until now I hadn’t properly considered photography as such a major aspect of my blog but especially in the last year it seems it’s as much of a part of my blog as my writing is, especially recently. I hope to create more photography based posts in the future as well as write more of the types of posts that I've missed writing and write more freely, without the worry of it not being 'good enough'.

Anyway it’s been two years from yesterday that I’ve had this space on the internet. I'm so grateful to have this space where I can do what I want whether that's to write or post photos of mine. So thank you to anyone who has taken the time to look at this space of mine. Also thank you to my close friend who helped me take some of these photos.

Hopefully I have a lot more to show on here in years to come.

A Trip To Italy: Somewhere Very Hot

 

 

 

Blue painted the skies, a different shade each new day: few white dots danced in the sky above. Our days in Italy provided us with long walks in any shade we could find along streets paved with bricks. It was astonishingly hot.

I can’t remember the last holiday abroad I went on with my family where we didn’t either ski or sail. It was a change. I’m still unsure about what ‘kind’ of holiday I prefer but I feel as you grow older you gradually discover this. Well I hope so.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the photos from my trip and have had a good week.

Exams Over For The Summer

Seven of my weeks were filled with exams. At the end of June I was embraced by freedom and could seize days to fulfil my dreams and desires. I wanted to write again but I was lost as to where to start; I feared I had lost my voice and didn't want to type without it. Thus I waited but I've realised that I need to simply write again and hope I will fall into my old writing ways. 

Other than exams, the end of June provided me with days to escape my town and venture to the sea as well as be in the presence of my friends without the pressure of revising hanging over us. In light of our exams finally being over, we burnt pages that had surrounded us for weeks and coated our bedroom floors. 

The first of July brought a night full of dancing, singing, laughing and cherishing moments with all the people who were friends of mine from my secondary school. It was the night of our year 11 prom. I ended the day and started the next with some of my closest friends. We danced and talked for hours as well as ate pizza at 4am. 

The very next day I boarded a plane alongside my family to Italy, which I discovered can be a very hot place. I returned to England a few days ago and so hopefully I shall post about our trip soon. 

Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a great weekend. 

A Little Update

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote on here. I made the decision to leave my school and not return to their sixth form in September. I’m moving house and going to a completely different school. One day I may divulge into it but for now I’ll say I’m both excited and nervous.

I have six GCSE exams left and been tired a lot of the time. I desire summer days so much. The freedom from having the need to prepare and perform the best I can academically will be gone.

I’ve missed this little place on the internet. Hopefully I’ll be back here soon.

Sometimes

Sometimes I find myself clinging onto what I thought I wanted to grow up to be even though I question whether it’s the career for me. Sometimes I feel if I let it go I would be lost. Sometimes I only hold onto it because I can’t think of an alternative. Sometimes I can’t prove to myself that it is the career for me.

What do you sometimes think about?

Listen To Your Body

 

I often find myself becoming tired after I’ve been working whether that is at school or at home. There appears to be a point where I can no longer work and be thoroughly productive. My body is too tired to carry on. Recently I’ve been noticing this and I’ve been trying to make the decision to stop working and take a break.

When I say ‘a break’ I don’t mean simply stopping for half an hour, I’m talking about something like taking the evening off and watching a film in bed.

I feel we so often find ourselves under the belief we must carry on. If we stop, we view it as being lazy. Sometimes we just become too tired, we require a significant break to rest and recuperate.

If you are in this position, remember it's okay to stop and take quite some time off.

Hope you had a good week and next week is even better!